I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
