she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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