Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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