After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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