He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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