How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
