I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
