in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
