Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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