Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
