I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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