About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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