Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
