I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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