ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
