So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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