Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
