don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
