people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
