it wasn't lemon gatorade
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize