Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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