Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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