My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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