Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm at about main and main street
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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