Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
