My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
