I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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