Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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