one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
