I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
