last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
