Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
