end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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