strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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