I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
