I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
