i just google imaged poop.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
