so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
