you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
