why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
