I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
