My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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