Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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