butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
