You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
