every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
