btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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