Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
