Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
