I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
