What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
