we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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