Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
