It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
