Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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