I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
