VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
