So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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