Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
