did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
